Stance on Diversity

A Letter from the ChicagoEFT Past President

Dear EFT Community,

We are living in extraordinary times and the protests of the Black Lives Matter movement are powerful demands for genuine, lasting and systemic change in how we as a society view and respond to black, indigenous and other people of color (BIPOC). The chorus of protests have reached virtually every corner of our society – even around the world. Systemic injustice and inequity are all around us. We are in crisis. 

If you have been following the ICEEFT (International Center for Excellence in EFT) listservs you have seen that the larger EFT community is no exception. Many therapists have been voicing their negative personal and professional experiences related to trainings and membership. It takes courage to speak directly and openly when one hasn’t felt seen, understood, appreciated and welcomed for who they are, and we are all indebted to those who have taken the risk to speak truth to power. The vulnerability of naming and asking for core needs to be met has too often been met with defensiveness, misunderstanding and worst of all, silence.

I wish I could say the Chicago Center for EFT (now known as ChicagoEFT) has been different, but we have our own shortcomings. To read more..

Our Statement on Belonging

We were drawn to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) because it validated our experience as human beings.

We believe our humanity suffers when we deny the experience of any other human being.

We believe our humanity is only complete when there is room for everyone’s experience.

We believe everyone has the right to acceptance and belonging.

We believe EFT has the power, when coupled with curiosity and receptivity, to create openings for everyone to learn to embrace and befriend their inner world and show up as more fully themselves in the world and in their most important relationships.

We believe we should treat our community of therapists with the same care and consideration with which we treat our clients.

We make this statement now because we would never expect our clients to show up authentically and risk unless we had made it explicitly safe for them to do so.

We are committed to ongoing dialogue with our community of therapists to hear, listen and respond to hurts, wounds, and other mis-attunements

We invite all voices and are committed to receiving feedback as a gift, seeing it as an opportunity to more fully connect.

We are committed to acknowledging, addressing, repairing and removing obstacles to anyone in this community feeling unsafe or unheard.

You are welcome here.

Actions We Are Taking

Reflection on the July 2020 Listening Session

As someone wrote in an evaluation, this event was not a passive listening gathering. It was an experience in which Cadmona and Rachel created a safe space for active listening and participation.

After some introductory comments and explanation of tasks for privileged and subjugated people (see below), we split into 2 groups, one for therapists who identify as BIPOC, a second group for those who identify as white. And as quickly as a Zoom breakout room opens, there was injury. In what seemed to us organizers to be a matter of logistical convenience, there lurked harm, marginalization again. We put the smaller group, BIPOC, in a breakout room (fewer people to identify and assign) and left the larger group, white, in the main room. To read more..

Here are a few resources to help us Listen and Learn.
We will be adding more resources.

Resources on Anti-racism

Podcasts

Videos

Talking about Race with Dr. Bukky Kolawole

TedTalk by Ibram X Kendi: Being Not Racist vs. Being Antiracist

Books

Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad

Me and White Supremacy
by Layla F. Saad

White Fragility by Robin Diangelo

White Fragility
by Robin DiAngelo

The Color of Money by Mehrsa Baradaran

The Color of Money
by Mehrsa Baradaran

Overcoming Our Racism by Derald Wing Sue

Overcoming Our Racism
by Derald Wing Sue

Resources on the Black Experience

Non-fiction

The Beautiful Struggle by Ta-Nehisi Coates

The Beautiful Struggle
by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehesi Coates

Between the World and Me
by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Fiction and Poetry

Roots by Alex Haley

Roots
by Alex Haley

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin

If Beale Street Could Talk
by James Baldwin

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Beloved
by Toni Morrison

Citizen by Claudia Rankine

Citizen
by Claudia Rankine

Olio by Tyehimba Jess

Olio
by Tyehimba Jess

Resources for Therapy

Gurman, A.S., & Jacobson, N.S. (2002). Clinical handbook of couple therapy, Third Edition. New York, NY: The Guilford Press.  Chapter 22: Couple Therapy Using a Multicultural Perspective. Particularly pages 586-588.

Resources on ADHD

Books

The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Orlov

The ADHD Effect on Marriage
by Melissa Orlov

The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD

The Couple’s Guide to Thriving with ADHD
by Melissa Orlov, Nancie Kohlenberger

Online Resources