I’m Xavier, a therapist at Optimum Joy in Chicago. I work with individuals and couples. A lot of the couples I see care deeply about each other and still find themselves having the same fight over and over. Sometimes one person keeps trying to talk it through while the other gets quiet. By the end, both people feel like they’re on their own.

I like to slow those moments down and get curious about what’s happening for each person. What did you hear your partner say? What did you want them to know but couldn’t quite say? Sometimes that’s where we start to understand why a fight about something small felt so big.

I use Emotionally Focused Therapy in my work with couples and individuals, and I’m also trained in EMDR. If faith is part of how you make sense of what you’re going through, we can talk about that too. I’m a Christian, and I’ll follow your lead on how much space faith takes up in our work.